Before Children

BC means Before Children.  There’s no explaining it.  People often ask me how children change your life.  The answer is utterly.  When children show up in your life, you too are reborn into a totally different life.

I’m sure that some fathers are chuckling to themselves, smug in the satisfaction that they have managed to lead their lives relatively unchanged.  Bully for you.  Even if they were right (and I’m sure some are), that doesn’t make them clever.  It just makes them poor fathers.

I’m not saying that to be a good father you need to let your children run your life.  Au contraire, you should run theirs.  The harsh reality of is that even though you are running their lives it is one of the most analog, complex tasks you can ever undertake.  To make it about 100 times harder, you usually need to do this as a part of a team with your spouse, other family members, teachers, friends etc.  Control is not a word you can ever really use again.